untitled
by teddybear17
Summary: Our favorite short-don't tell him I said that-alchemic prodigy ends up on an undercover mission to protect the Boy who Lived when the world has turned against its saviors. Set in book five. No romance because I am horrible at it.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Well here's something i came up with at 11pm the night before my english exam that i have yet to study for...i'm screwed. anyway, i'm not sure if this is any good, and i am pretty sure the beginning gets off to a weird start that may or may not make sense with the rest of the story. well please leave feedback for me if you decide to read this. if people don't like it, it will probably be taken down. i tried to put some humor in there, but i'm not sure if it was successful.**

**Enjoy.**

**disclaimer: i don't own harry potter or fullmetal alchemist. if i did would i really be writing on _FAN_fiction. really, do we even have to put disclaimers? **

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Ed was lost.

He looked around for the billionth time only to see what he had seen the other nine hundred ninety nine million nine hundred ninety nine thousand nine hundred ninety nine times that he looked: A desolate strip of asphalt surrounded on both sides by almost identical houses with lawns trimmed to what would have been perfection had there not been a serious drought that killed all the plant life. No clues to where he was, and definitely no clues to how he was supposed to get back to where he wanted to be.

It was all Scar's fault. If he hadn't decided that today was the perfect day to chase him around the hemisphere none of this would have happened. He still wasn't quite sure what had happened himself.

It had been a seemingly normal day. Ed had once again just gotten out of the hospital after another fight with the homunculi. They were everywhere! Anyway he had to report to Mustang to get his ear lectured off, and start a new mission. Well it wasn't like he had anything better to do anyway. He was at a dead end with his research. After he found out what it took to make the philosopher's stone he and his brother, Al, had decided that they would never use something like that. They were currently searching for another way, but it wasn't that simple. Solutions to their problems didn't just fall out of the sky!

So anyway he had hit a dead end, and with nothing better to do he decided to play the good soldier boy and get his mission. Not _that_ good a soldier boy, mind you. There would still be the ritual bickering, name calling, and glare-o-contests. But that was normal, routine, and no visit to headquarters would be complete without it.

Back on topic. Ed went and got his new mission. He was supposed to go to some magic school. MAGIC! He couldn't believe it. I mean he literally didn't believe in it. Magic was impossible. But considering all the things he had been through he really should have been more open to things like this. But of course being his usual stubborn and unreasonable self he denied it completely.

That is until the headmaster came. Of course he had to appear right as he was starting to get a good argument gathered up. He just popped into the room out of nowhere. Which was not always the best thing to do in a room full of military personnel. But after everyone calmed down they got to business.

He was supposed to go to protect some kid named Harry Potter. Apparently this kid had an evil dude named voldy-something after him. And by some bit of logic that he neither comprehended nor agreed with, he had to go and protect the kid. Fun life.

Just as they were starting to get down into some of the finer details who should show up but his favorite state alchemist killer? Pandemonium ensued, as can be expected, which involved much taunting, alchemy, destroying of prosthetic limbs, and, somehow, an argument about a rubber chicken.

The next thing Ed knew he was on this street. Which gets us back to his current predicament. He could always go up to one of the houses and ask for directions, but what was he going to say, "Hey, I just appeared out of nowhere and found myself on your street, could you tell me where Amestris is?" That would go over _reeeeeeeaaaaaaaallllly_ well.

He eventually made his way over to a small playground. It was deserted except for a boy with jet black hair sitting on one of the swings. With nothing better to do he decided to go up to the kid. Well, kid wasn't really the appropriate term considering he looked to be about his age, but it didn't really matter to Ed. He went over and sat on the swing next to him.

"Hey," he said lamely.

The boy looked up at him confusedly. That is when he noticed that the kid had bright green eyes. That wasn't something you say every day.

"Um…hi," he said uncertainly.

The kid had a British accent. Well apparently he was in England…half way around the world from Amestris. Oh great.

"This may be a very strange question, but where are we…am I…" Ed trailed off wondering to himself about the proper grammar for this situation.

"Urm…Little Winging, England…?"

Well that just cleared that up.

"Oh. Alright. Thanks." There was an awkward silence. "What's your name?"

_What in the world?_ Harry was very confused. He was just sitting on the swing, hiding from his "family" when this short blonde dude wearing a coat and gloves in the middle of SUMMER! shows up and asks where they are. Why wouldn't he? How can you be somewhere and not know where you are? Except if you are lost of course, but there are enough signs around, or at least he always thought so.

"What's your name?" the stranger asked him. Should he really be talking to this person?

"Harry…?" he said hesitantly. He was very unsure about this person.

Ed chuckled slightly. "What, not sure about your own name?" he asked in a mock teasing manner. Now that he thought about it he probably was a sight. Wearing a bright red coat and gloves in the middle of summer. To anyone who didn't know this it would seem very strange, and the fact that he was currently missing his right arm didn't help things. Thankfully that was hidden by his coat for now, but how long would that last. Damn. Scar was persistent this time. His leg was in bad shape too. It was about ready to fall off.

Well this person certainly seemed friendly enough. Looking past the fact that he was obviously strange.

"Um…no. My name's Harry. Harry Potter."

Ed stared at him for a moment. _Well…that was easy…and weird. I already found my target however unintentionally._

"Well that makes things easier."

Harry was obviously confused. "Why is that?" He was suddenly suspicious again. What if this guy was working for Voldemort.

"Well seeing as it is my mission to protect you, first I would have had to find you, but I don't think this is how dumble-whoever had planned on us meeting." He said nonchalantly.

"Protect me?" Now Harry was once again confused.

"Yeah. But I'm afraid I wouldn't b much use at the moment. There was a…problem I guess you could say, back home. I somehow got transported here, a little worse for wear."

"Are you alright?"

"Me? Swell." He added under his breath, "Although my mechanic is going to kill me now."

"So what now?"

"Oh I suppose we'll just have to wait for a bit. Someone will come looking eventually. Although I still have no idea how I got here…"

After he said this, a gang of rather large boys came, for lack of a better word, waddling toward them.

When Harry saw this he said to Ed, "Oh great. That's going to be my cousin and his group of cronies. They're some sort of group that likes to beat up ten year olds…and me of course. What is your name by the way?"

"That's stupid. And my name's Ed, Ed Elric. Pleased to meet you, however belatedly it may be."

"Pleasure. Well I guess it's time to see what they want." He said referring to the group that was nearly approaching them.

"Hey freak, who's the pipsqueak?"

He would have continued, but of course all hell broke loose with the uttering of that one word.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT EVEN FLEAS MAKE FUN OF HIM? I'LL BREAK OFF YOUR FEET AND STICK THEM ON YOUR HEAD! I'LL BOIL YOUR EYEBALLS AND FEED THEM TO STARVING CROCODILES! YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMPSTER, AND YOU FATHER SMELT OF ELDER BERRIES!" Ed continued to rant and fume for another few seconds before he finally calmed down. Or rather Dudley opened his big piggish mouth.

"Will someone _please_ shut 'im up. He's gettin' on my nerves."

One of his cronies stepped up, looking large and intimidating, but failed to notice the sheen in Ed's eyes, and ended up getting a face full of Ed's furious fist for his efforts. Harry, and everyone else for that matter just looked on, shocked.

"Anyone else wanna go?" Ed asked, raising his fist to make it quite clear what would happen to anyone who did. All of Dudley's gang scampered off, back home to their mothers.

Harry couldn't help but grin. This kid just showed up out of nowhere, and then he goes and beats up Dudley's gang. This was the best day of his life!

Dudley was obviously being more cautious now. "So…you, who is that…person?" He was dancing around his words, trying not to get the blond riled up again.

"Oh just a 'person,' " answered Harry, trying to be as infuriating as possible without having to fear the blow of Dudley's fist. They had started walking back home as it was getting pretty late. "Oh Ed. Where are you gonna go?"

"…I have absolutely no idea. I'm surprised they haven't come looking for me yet." _Hope they're not having problems with Scar…_

"You could probably go stay with Mrs. Figg. She's…nice, but I hope you're not allergic to cats."

Ed gave a small grin at this. How many times had Al come home with a stray? "Sure. We'll try that."

Dudley was obviously very lost with this conversation, as it was above his minimal brainpower.

All of a sudden it got very cold. It stars seemed to dim and disappear. The street lamps started to go out. This could only mean one thing, and Harry knew what this one thing was. Dementors.

"What's going on?" asked Ed in a very confused whisper.

"Dementors are coming," said Harry.

Having no clue what that meant Ed decided to just go along with it for now. Whatever was coming it didn't sound good. "I'll ask later."

Harry shot him a grateful look. "We have to get to the house. Fast!"

Harry and Dudley set off at a full on sprint. Harry, of course, was faster, but when he heard only one set of foot steps behind him he was surprised, and looked back to see Ed coming along painfully slowly, limping slightly. Only now did Harry realize that Ed seemed to be missing an arm. He was surprised to say the least.

"You go ahead. In the state I'm in I'll just slow you down. You get to safety, whatever they are I'm sure they're after you. And I really don't want to hear the lecture from Mustang if I let something happen to you."

Disregarding what the blond said, Harry went over and started to help him along.

"Seriously, I'll be fine. Shouldn't you be helping your cousin?"

"He'll manage. Don't worry about me I'll be fine, you on the other hand would be a sitting duck, and you don't even want to know what dementors do."

Harry draped Ed's arm over his shoulder and helped him limp along. They proceeded this way at a hurried pace, until they reached a tunnel where they met up with a panting Dudley. They themselves were tired. Ed found that his leg definitely wasn't on right, as it was almost impossible for him to walk.

Just then the tunnel went pitch black. Rasping breathing could be heard closing in on them from both ends of the tunnel. Dudley punched Harry think that he was the source, making him loose his wand.

One dementor started closing in on Harry and his cousin, as he scrambled around for his wand. The other closed in on Ed. Being unable to move, Ed was pinned by the dementor in seconds.

Ed had no idea what was going on. All he knew was that he was pinned to a wall by something rotten and decaying. Then his head exploded with all of his worst memories. His mother dying, the transmutation, loosing his brother, Nina, that first fight with Scar, everything.

All of a sudden the dementor coming toward Harry was gone. Harry grabbed his wand and lit it, and was met with a horrible sight. One dementor had Ed held up to the wall by his throat, while both of them were feeding off of him, and Ed staring at them in wide-eyed horror. But he was not looking at the demontors, he was looking past them, through them, into his worst memories.

Harry finally gathered the presence of mind to conjure his protronus. The silver stag galloped over and drove the dementors away, leaving Ed crumpled on the ground.

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**AN: Well that's it. please leave a review saying wether you liked it, hated it, whatever. constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. criticism results in unhappy authoresses. i need sleep. night.**

**i was going to say something, but now i can't remember. I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS!**

**anyway, i'm not going to beg for reviews cause i like reviews, i really could use some help with my writing, and i want to start a story that i can actually finish.**

**I REMEMBERED! this is only my first chapter, and it is over 2000 words! i am so proud.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: sorry i haven't updated in...forever...yeah... life just got in the way you know? ...yeah, i'm going to run now.**

**The internet at my school randomly decided to take a vacation to Barbados. Or the Tech Guy did. Whatever, the internet never works at my school, so I had to finish this chapter at some point, then post it while stealing internet from a cafe while I hid in the bushes. (not really, that sentence is courtesy of my best friend who is helping me rant)**

**But you should be happy that the internet decided to take a vacation this morning while we had a 1 1/2 hr delay thing (some people had the national language exams this morning, and my dad had to drop me off regular time even though I wasn't taking the exam). So i was sitting in the hallway for two hours with no internet. This led to me being very bored and finally deciding to finish this chapter. Good for you.**

**I hope it reaches you expectations...if you have any that is. Enjoy.**

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**Chapter 2

"Oh dear. This is not a good turn of events. I'm going to _skin _Mundungus when he decides to show up!" ranted Ms. Figg to herself as the motley crew made their way to safety. This group containing Ms. Figg, herself, Harry, Ed, being half carried, half dragged, by Harry, and Harry's pig of a cousin, who was half unconscious, himself. Which left Harry to support not only the abnormally heavy, short alchemist, but also to take the brunt of Dudley's weight. This left Harry a little the worse for wear, and gasping for breath as he tried to stay upright.

"Ms. Figg what's…going on?" asked Harry, through gasps for air.

"Mundungus was _supposed_ to be on guard tonight! But of course he was off doing some other illicit activity instead of keeping watch over you, and what happens? You get attacked by dementors of all things!" Sensing what Harry was going to ask next she went ahead and answered before he had to make the effort to form comprehensive speech. "Oh, and I'm a squib, by the way. I'm sorry I can't do magic to help you out with those two. But if _Mundungus_ was here like he was _supposed_ to be, none of this would have ever happened!" Ms. Figg continued to rant on about what an irresponsible _git_ that Mundungus was until they came closer to their respective houses.

"Ms. Figg, what should we do with him?" asked Harry, indicating Ed with a slight nod of his head.

"Oh dear…I don't rightly know. Albus said something about a new guard, but that wasn't supposed to be for a while yet…"

"Yes, he explained it to me. Something happened back where he is from, and he ended up here. They should come looking for him eventually though, right?"

"I should hope so. But for now why don't you keep him with you. That is probably where they will come looking for him first."

They reached Number 4 Privet Drive, and Harry hauled his cousin, and short friend up to the door. After assuring that neither would fall he knocked on the door. Aunt petunia yanked the door open, taking in a deep breath with which she would yell her lungs out at him for being so late, when she caught sight of her porky son. She visibly deflated as the lungful of air escaped her. Then re-inflated at an alarming rate.

"What in the world happened?" she half screamed, half questioned. While she was fretting, Uncle Vernon came waddling into the hall to see what all the fuss was about. One glance at his son draped over Harry's struggling form spurred him into action.

Between the two of them, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were able to heft Dudley's considerable mass off of Harry, to his great relief. They all made their way into the house. Harry's Aunt and Uncle were so busy with their own son that they almost didn't notice the extra presence in the room.

Ed was still unconscious. Harry found this very odd. When he had encountered the dementors for the first time he had also fallen unconscious, but hadn't been for nearly this long. He was starting to worry. The expression on Ed's face wasn't helping to appease that feeling either. It was a mix of horror, guilt, self-loathing, anger, and so many other things, and the kid was asleep for crying out loud! Was it really possible to be able to show so many clear emotions on one's face while asleep? Apparently yes.

It was around this time that the Dursleys became aware of Ed's presence.

"Boy," Vernon said in a dangerous voice, turning to face Harry, "Who the hell is _that_?"

"Oh…um…a friend of mine…?" Harry had no idea what to say, but at they look he got form his Aunt and Uncle after he uttered this sentence it was clear what was going through their minds. He hurriedly added, "I only just met him today, and he's not a wiz-…like me." He caught his slip before the hated word slipped out. This seemed to placate the Dursleys only slightly, however.

Uncle Vernon continued, "And why, pray I ask, did you bring him into our home?" He was speaking in a falsely sweet voice that promised much pain in Harry's future. "Or better yet," he continued, "what happened to our son?" he ground out, his voice leaving the false sweetness in the dust, and picking up a distinct growl.

Harry tried to hurriedly stammer out an answer, "We were attacked by dementors on our way home!" of course Vernon had no idea what "dementors" were, which led to the next question.

"And what in God's name are dementiods?" he asked, his voice barely below a full on shout. He obviously wasn't getting the answers he needed fast enough, and it was grating on his nerves.

"_Dementors_ are the guards of the wizard prison, Azkaban." The Dursleys flinched at the "w" word.

"What happened to my son? Why is he like…that?" asked an enraged Vernon Dursley.

"Dementors are creatures that take away all the happy things in life, and leave you with your worst memories and fears. Dudley is like that as a reaction to them." Just them Dudley started retching. While Aunt Petunia hurried him off to the bathroom so that he wouldn't soil the carpet, Uncle Vernon stayed behind to yell at Harry some more.

"How do we put 'im right? Huh? I know you know. Spit it out boy!"

"Just give him some chocolate."

Uncle Vernon then diverted his attention to the extra. "And what is he doing here?" he growled.

"Like I told you, he's my friend, and he got attacked by the dementors with us. I'm not sure where he lives, and he passed out so I couldn't ask him." At this point Ed was starting to shake. "Is there anywhere I can out him down? Standing here can't be very comfortable for him."

Vernon just grunted out "couch" before lumbering off to find out what had become of his son.

Harry made his way over to the couch, and put Ed upon it. Immediately the short alchemist curled up into a ball trying to suppress whatever nightmare he was reliving. Harry had no clue what to do, but he sure hoped that Dumbledore, or someone who knew what they were doing, came to take care of him.

All three Dursleys came into the room at that point. "We're taking Dudley to the hospital, Boy. No _funny_ business while we're gone. Understand?" said Uncle Vernon.

"Yes sir." Obviously Vernon had disregarded the cure to dementor attacks that Harry had told him about, and decided that "professionals" were a better choice.

The Dursleys left to go to the hospital, and Harry was left alone in the house with an unconscious Ed. Sitting there doing nothing, lulled Harry into sleep.

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~Meanwhile at Central in Amestris~

Everyone at the base was celebrating. Thanks to Dumbledore, Scar had finally been apprehended. So, obviously, they were celebrating in the only way the military men knew how, with lots and lots of beer.

Nobody seemed to notice the absence of a certain alchemist, until his brother brought it to their attention. "Hey, has anyone seen Ed?"

Everyone looked around themselves for the pint sized alchemist. Roy would make fun of him later for this.

It was at this time that Dumbledore realized that he was missing a certain magical item. "Oh my, it seems I have misplaced the portkey."

At the confused looks he was receiving he elaborated, "The rubber chicken?"

This got everyone's memory working again. They had spent half the day arguing about the thing.

"It seems that Mr. Elric inadvertently took a ride with the portkey. Oh well, he has most likely met up with Mr. Potter already. I will alert the other Order members, so they are on the lookout for him.

After this bit of confusion everyone went back to drinking and playing stupid drunken games.

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~Back at Number 4 Privet Drive~

It seemed that he had just fallen asleep, when he seemed to be immediately interrupted by someone shaking him awake. "Harry…HARRY…come on wake up will ya?" Someone that Harry didn't recognize was insistently shaking him to try and get him up.

Blearily blinking his eyes to get used to the light, or lack there of, Harry sat up. He was greeted by the sight of a group of people scattered around his living room. Some he knew, and some he didn't. His eyes fell on Remus Lupin.

"Professor Lupin…? What's going on?" he asked, still trying to get his brain up to speed.

"We've come to take you to a safe place. But first, who is this?" he said indicating the still-unconscious Ed at his side.

Finally gathering his brain back together Harry answered, "Oh! That's Ed, he got attacked by the dementors too. I'm surprised that he hasn't woken up yet…"

The adults looked surprised. Not about the extra alchemist, they had already been informed of his predicament, but about the fact that he hadn't yet awoken. They had never heard if someone staying unconscious for so long after a dementor attack. They also noticed that he was trembling, still in whatever world of nightmares he had.

"Well we 'd better take 'im with us," said the gruff voice of Mad Eye Moody. "Tonks, go help 'im get his trunk," he said indicating Harry. The woman that had shook him awake followed Harry up the stairs to his room to help him pack.

While they were doing that Lupin went up to help get Ed awake, only to find that his eyes were open. Open, but not focused. They seemed to be staring through him, into some nightmare that the boy was reliving. This was beyond his experience, they needed to get Ed to Dumbledore soon, or this could turn ugly.

Enlisting the help of the other Order members present, Lupin hefted the boy to his feet. He was surprisingly heavy. And as he was put into a more upright position, it became clear that he was missing an arm.

Well that was a surprise.

Harry and Tonks came back down the stairs, Tonks levitating Harry's trunk behind them.

Moody addressed the question of Ed's limbs first, "What 'appened to 'is arm?"

"Oh! It was like that when I met him. I have no idea what happened, I didn't get the chance to ask."

"Well we have to get him to Dumbledore as soon as possible, we can see if he knows," said Lupin.

"Do you think it'll be safe to put him on a broom? What if he falls off?" asked Tonks.

"I'll apparate him right to headquarters and contact Dumbledore right away. Heaven knows there's no time to waste," said Lupin. "I'll meet all of you back there." With that he turned on his heel and disappeared.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get going," said Tonks to the whole group. With that they headed outside and started on their rather frigid trip to the headquarters of the Order of the Pheonix.

When Lupin appeared inside 12 Grimald Place he was greeted by a gaggle of redheaded teenagers, and one not-so-redheaded teenager. They looked up in surprise from their dinner to the newcomers.

Seeing the unconscious blond, Moly Weasley sprang into action. She herded the aforementioned teenagers out the door, and went to work, lying down the shaking teenager.

"What happened?" she asked/demanded Lupin.

"He was attacked by dementors along with Harry and his cousin. We need to contact Dumbledore right away. He's having a very strange reaction," said Lupin.

"Oh, yes. Of course," said Mrs. Weasley as she conjured her patronus to send a message to Dumbledore. Mrs. Weasley conjured some blankets to drape over the prone form of the young boy currently on the dining room floor.

As they were waiting for Dumbledore to appear, Harry, and his escorts arrived at the house. Mrs. Weasley left Lupin to look over the boy while she led Harry to his room.

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**AN: ok, so there it is. ...i wanted to write something...what was it!**

**I don't own Harry Potter or Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did would i be posting this on fanfiction? That is why I do not get the point of these disclaimers, and yet I continue to include them...**

**that was probably a very bad chapter...i'll try and get another one out in a timely manner, but i make no promises. I've got some ideas, but they wouldn't occur for a while. So I' kind of bored with it at the moment, but once i get into it you will see many more updates (i hope)**

**I REMEMBERED: ok, so i have no ideas for a title, so any suggestions? THANKS  
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